There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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