I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
