i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
