I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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