Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
