nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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