apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My vagina just clenched in fear
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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