i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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