I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
