And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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