Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
