so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
