Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My dick has a subreddit
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
