I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
