Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
