Cold hands, warm shart.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
