Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Randomize
