I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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