2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize