Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
