we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm bleeding and have questions
tell me about the eggs
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
