Betty ford says i'm here all night
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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