all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He shit in the fireplace
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
