Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize