You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
