Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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