My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
