I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
