Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
we should paint friendship bongs
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