So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
