This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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