How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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