She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
