Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
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