Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
