I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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