All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I would fuck him just for his dog
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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