Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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