I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
