my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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