ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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