he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize