...so i touched it.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
