i just had sex bonerless
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
