Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
