The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
