I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
