when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
