oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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