this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize