some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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