Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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