I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
