After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
