Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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