Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
