hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
